


For You

by KahtyaSofia



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Children of Earth, Gen, One Shot, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-26
Updated: 2009-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-03 18:30:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahtyaSofia/pseuds/KahtyaSofia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack pays a late visit to someone, but he's really just searching for something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For You

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own. CONCRIT is welcome. The events of COE did happen. Dark!Jack has risen and my muse is doing a happy dance on the ceiling.

Jack didn't go back to Cardiff.

There was nothing there for him any longer. He had no desire to comb through the ruins of the Hub for any of his former possessions. He left behind all of his photos and all of his keepsakes. Jack no longer wanted any connection to the life he had lived for so many years.

He had no need or desire to see Gwen, either. She would want to discuss the pain of losing Ianto and her visit to his sister and Jack couldn't do that.

He hunted down the Prime Minister first. By the time Jack got there, political machinations were rapidly making him the former PM. Public ruin wasn't good enough for Jack. He didn't feel satisfied until the blade of his knife slid home between the evil man's ribs. He toyed with him a bit first, let him experience fear and dread and the certainty of his own impending death. He'd begged for his life, which Jack had thoroughly enjoyed. In the end, Jack held his head up and forced their eyes to meet so the bastard knew just who had killed him. Jack got to see the precise moment all life left his eyes.

This is what Jack was built for; what he was good at.

Next, Jack went after Frobisher. He was denied his vengeance when he discovered the man had found his balls at the last moment and annihilated his entire family, rather than have his daughters handed over to the 456. Then he'd turned the gun on himself, depriving Jack of the delight of inserting his knife blade into the base of his skull.

He didn't know who he should target next, so he took a break. Jack found he couldn't afford to be at loose ends, though. When he wasn't tracking his next target or laying in wait to strike, he would begin to think; he would remember. The rage, the pain and the guilt were nearly debilitating. He had to keep moving. Jack decided to pay a visit to the one bright spot to come out of this unbearable series of events.

The night was dark, but it wasn't too very late when he knocked on the front door of her flat. Jack spent most of his time in the dark now, moving about only at night and doing his best to pass unnoticed for once.

Surprise registered clearly on her face when she answered the door. "Captain Harkness."

"Lois," he replied, not able to raise a smile, even for her. Two weeks ago he'd have smiled broadly at her, flirted, kissed her hand and stroked her cheek. She was a lovely girl and she'd risked so much but he couldn't bring himself to feel anything beyond his pain and his guilt.

"Is everything alright?" distress coloured her voice.

"For you, yes," he answered quietly. "For the children. Things are fine."

She hesitated. Jack had clearly thrown her off. "Would you like to come in?" she finally asked, gesturing toward the depths of her flat.

"No," he said quickly. "No, thank you." He wanted to be touched by her graciousness but all he could feel, had been feeling, was self-loathing.

"Gwen has phoned a few times," she said hastily. "She and Rhys are as well as can be expected."

Her words told Jack that Gwen and Lois had spoken of him. Gwen had obviously told Lois that he'd not returned to Cardiff. He'd not really been in touch at all. Jack was too overwhelmed by guilt over so many other things, he couldn't muster any for that at all.

"I went to get you released but by the time I got there, you'd already been let go." Jack said, wanting her to know he wouldn't have left her there; after all she had done for them. Ianto would expect him to do right by her. Thinking of Ianto caused that too-familiar feeling that was like being punched in the gut. Jack doubted that reaction would stop anytime soon.

"Yes, Brigit saw to that," she explained.

"Good," Jack didn't care who Brigit was or why she'd bothered with Lois. He was just glad she had.

"I'm terribly sorry about your friend, Ianto," Lois said suddenly, in rush. "It was horrible enough you lost him, but to have your last moments together broadcast for all those people to watch..." She trailed off.

"We got to say goodbye," Jack's voice sounded strained and harsh to his own ears. That fist to his gut was back again. "That's more than I've gotten with some of them."

"I think it forced them all to realize there were consequences to their decisions and their actions," Lois said quietly. "Being forced to watch that happen; they weren't able to think just in terms of numbers and theories. You were real people, right there in front of them."

"By then it was too late for Ianto," Jack's grief for Ianto was compounded by the images that flashed through his mind; images of a small boy's fear and pain and mother's anguish and hatred.

There would be no forgiveness this time. There was no chance for redemption, nor was it even deserved. He'd done what had to be done, just like always. That was yet another one of his gifts.

Lois nodded her sympathy and understanding and then fell silent. She regarded him steadily but said nothing. Jack had come to her, which seemed to tell her he had something to say. She settled in to wait for him to say it. He realised she was so like Ianto that way. Lois could be still. She could be silent. She could be patient and just wait for him to say what he had come to say.

"Were there any good people in that room?" he finally blurted out. Jack no longer had the strength to couch his words in any kind of civility.

"I'm sorry, Captain," she said, her brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't think I understand."

Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The men and women in that room; playing God, making decisions about whose children to sacrifice, as long as it wasn't their own. Were there any good people in that room with you?" He feared her answer. Somewhere along the way he'd lost faith in the people of Earth.

Lois paused for a very long moment. Jack waited her out.

"I believe, sir," she began slowly. "That most of them were good people. They struggled with what they had to do. We were all so out of our depth, though. I think they did the very best they could with what little understanding they had."

"Even the Prime Minister?" Jack challenged, once again awash in hatred. He revelled in the remembered sense of satisfaction when he'd taken his revenge.

"Well, not exactly, Captain," Lois admittedly reluctantly. "I think it's clear now that he really only cared about how he would appear when it was all over."

"Agreed." Jack had been pleased when the bastard had lost all semblance of pride and had begged for mercy.

There was no mercy left in Jack, if there had ever been any at all.

"Captain, did you..." she began to ask and Jack gave her a very hard look. Lois was smart. She rethought the wisdom of asking her question. After a long pause during which she studied him intently, Lois began again, "The officer from UNIT and the one from the American military..."

"Yes?" Jack prompted her to continue, his heart kicking into overdrive as he sensed he was near to identifying his next targets.

"They really only cared that Great Britain was trying to capture power and glory," Lois was clearly disgusted. "They didn't care who they hurt, whose lives were ruined, so long as they were the ones in control and not our government."

Jack knew the type. He'd encountered them time and time again. He came across their ilk more often than he ever did those like Lois.

Or Ianto.

"Thank you, Lois," Jack said quietly, biting back his pain and rage. He hoped she understood he meant for more than just answering his question.

"I didn't do very much, sir," she protested. "Not when compared to what you lot managed to do."

Jack felt a weary smile begin, his first in days. "We knew what we were up against. We were used to dealing with those kinds of threats." Jack held Lois' gaze unwaveringly. "You were scared and overwhelmed and you faced your fear and followed your conscience."

"I was so frightened," Lois' eyes were wide and expressive. "I almost didn't raise the courage to speak out when I was supposed to."

"But you faced your fear and found your voice," Jack replied. "That's true bravery, Lois. You're a hero."

Lois dropped her gaze, obviously uncomfortable with his praise. "I'm not a hero," she said with quiet vehemence. "Not like you."

Jack laughed bitterly. "I'm by no means a hero. I'm not a good man."

Good men didn't stand and watch their own flesh and blood suffer horrifically and die painfully after having ordered it to take place. Pragmatic but heartless men did, and Jack was nothing if not pragmatic.

"Captain," Lois began to argue but Jack cut her off.

"You remind me of someone," he surprised himself when he blurted this out. "Someone very special." Jack realized how true his words were. "She's just a woman. A very smart, very capable, very caring woman. If you asked her, she'd tell you there's nothing special about her. But she saved the world once. Almost single-handedly."

"She sounds like an amazing woman," Lois whispered.

"She is," Jack agreed. "Beautiful and idealistic and too good for this world."

She stared at him, seemingly at a loss.

"Do great things, Lois Habib." he said finally, stepping back from her door in preparation for leaving. "You are capable of very great things. Believe in yourself and go out and do them."

"You don't even know me," Lois was incredulous.

"You're why I did it," Jack said quickly.

"I'm why you did what?" she was confused again.

Jack fought back the memory of small boy with blood flowing from his nose and ears. "Good people. Caring people. People like you and like my friend. People like Ianto." Jack swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "Knowing that people like you are out here, living and struggling and trying to do the right thing," Jack paused as the tears threatened yet again. "It's for you that I did what I had to, when I was tempted to say to hell with the whole lot."

Lois clearly didn't know what to say.

"Thank you again, Lois," Jack said, moving away from her door. "Be well."

Jack's coat billowed behind him as he strode off into the night. He had appointments to keep with UNIT and the American military, even if they themselves didn't know it, yet.


End file.
